I had a Covid vaccine on Sunday, and a flu-like reaction on Monday and Tuesday. Therefore I cancelled my scheduled Quest Diagnostic testing, requested by my doctor. Now it’s time to reschedule. Easy peasey, I thought and picked up my phone to punch in the office number. Just make a new appointment.
Well, 27 clicks later….
A good-looking sounding BOT answered the phone and immediately had my attention as I pictured, tall, well-groomed, suit and tie, pearly white teeth and clean shaven. And he sounded genuinely concerned for my welfare.
- English? click number 1
- How can I help? say in few words, with examples
- Are you a new patient? click No? click
- Feel unwell? click (I took a sip of wine here)
- and so on, including location, type of test, sex life, available dates, zip code, —( I’m kidding about the sex life ) and on and on and on until we hit click number 27. Then I was advised to go to the Quest website for additional information. (I finished the wine and poured another, instead of throwing the glass across the room, which was the preferred option. Click.)
- Apparently BOTS don’t go in reverse. Only forward. And only accept one word answers. And have limited vocabulary. When I suggested an alternative date for my appointment, the poor good-looking BOT became confused. He admitted that we were having trouble communicating. (I began thinking about a Hendricks gin with cucumber and black pepper.) So my plan is to be at the door tomorrow when the Quest office opens, plant myself inside until somebody notices me, wave my test request order in front of a face and hope for the best.
- When navigating the medical system, I think the digital world is convenient for the doctors and practitioners, but not so much for the patient/client. Ahhh, I hear those of you who manipulate this system with ease, saying, “I never had any trouble,” as well as those who enjoy clicking agreeing with that. Personally, I find that system annoying, irritating, and impersonal.
- It’s so much easier for all concerned to say, “When can I come for an XX test? Simple question, simple answer. And personal contact.
- Maybe there should be a choice of systems to schedule an appointment; one for clickers and one for none-clickers.