I’LL NEVER BE A FLORIDA LADY

Why not? Mostly because I don’t like getting pedicures and manicures, which is obligatory in Fort Lauderdale and Miami.

All women here, over the age of 17, have fancy dancy nails, both up and down. And they are done in every color or color combinaions, many with s wirls, rhinestones, and whirlygigs applied to each nail.

I can’t be bothered. I cut my nails, file them, and off I go, quite happy.

Also, women here drive everywhere. I suggested to a friend we walk a total distance of 3 blocks and she was horrified. At the mere suggestion so dug into her purse for car keys.

And they wear tight clothes, young and old. No matter the rolls of fat visible, the sagging skin, the forest of cellulite, tight clothing is acceptable.

The women of a certain age I encounter on a regular basis, dress is very high quality clothes. Their jewellry is tasteful and hair sometimes done nicely. But clothing fit is a bit startling.

I’ll never be a Florida woman!!