MY BIRTHDAY

Yep, another one. I’m 82 this year and it was a fun birthday. It started of with a luncheon with 3 friends at a waterfront restaurant in Fort Lauderdale. The best surprise was when one of the ladies wrote a very warm, heartfelt poem which described me. I was touched. It was so considerate. And,

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SPECIAL ROTARY LUNCHEON

I learned a lot about Fort Lauderdale today. All incidental stuff but things that will make me ‘belong.’ Number 1. Women, young or mature, do not wear pantyhose with dresses. Regardless of condition or appearance of legs, they are bare. Legs can be viened, knobby, fat, skinny or just plain unattractive, but they are always

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TV GREMLIN IN MY HOME

I’ll go to my grave not knowing how to work my TV. Even with the remote, I have no control over either the channels or language. For instance, last night I watched 4 episodes of Project Runway, a show I enjoy because I love beautiful clothes. Tonight I spoke ‘Project Runway’ into the microphone and

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NO COMMENT

For 8 days I’ve been wearing two different earrings. No one has noticed or commented. Or looked twice!! Both are real gold and both are larger than the nail on my big toe, so we’re not talking unobtrusive here. One is shaped like a square knot, with raised bits to it. The other is an

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I FART A LOT

I guess everyone passes gas or farts from time to time. But when I do it, it is so EMBARRASSING. It’s not a new thing. Ten years ago, a middle aged businessman was telling me how ‘men have certain needs’ with a deep, intense look into my eyes. And I farted. There was a silence.

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APPLES

I connect with Apples. And I use a capital letter on Apples because, strangely enough, they have been important in my life. As a little girl, I found an gnarled, neglected Apple tree beside a dirt back road at the end of our street. In the spring, I would climb the tree and find a

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The YES peope

This is for AJ,, my nephew, my almost-grandson, my relative. AJ, I have been told that you always say Yes to what’s being offered. Good for you! I wish I could say you inherited tha gene from me, because I’ve always been a Yes person and it served me well. Years ago, a little French

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THE MIDDLE FINGER AND FUCK

Two things I never do: say the word ‘FUCK’ and give someone the finger. But I did both yesterday. I was riding Effie Mae and was in the bike lane, when a car comes up behind me and forces me off the macadam onto the verge. It was a woman driver but I couldn’t tell

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