MOMMA?

I jumped into the back seat of the Uber, snapped the belt, and settled back. “Hello, Momma,” the driver said.

I looked up front to see a man with gray hair and a gray beard. Momma? We were in the same age group. Momma? Did I look like a Momma? Apparently so.

Later I peered at myself in the bathroom mirror, which had very favorable light. I turned to the left and glanced over my shoulder. Not too bad. Then repeated the process to the right. In fact I did all angles and finally decided a renewal wouldn’t go amiss.

Google was my source and driver for this project.

I googled Make Up for women over 50, which was a very conservative number. Jotting down all those brands then moved on to Skincare.

I browsed the web for some ideas and found The Body Spa.

Total Organic Skin Care;

Ion Foot Detox;

Face and Body Contouring;

Detoxifying Seaweed Treatment;

Butt Lift ( and here I thought most women tried to minimize their butts);

Anti Aging Therapy;

Cellulite Control;

And about 6 other treatments.

All done by a qualified Estheitician. A qualified what? It was all too overwhelming for me and I remembered a little shop several blocks from me that looked uncomplicated.

The next day I wandered down the block and waltzed through the Rejuvenate You door and began my ‘rejuvenation.’

The practioner was good and made several suggestions but I avoided the Blubber Lips and Stretched Skin appearance and opted a few subtle enhancements. A mere 15 minutes later and a surprisingly small amount of money, I exited the shop hoping for the best. But, I must admit, while paying, her receptionist suggested a neck cream which is supposed to be excellent and tighten up the Turkey Neck. I bought it before I realized it cost $135. Wow!! And it works, but $135? Plus tax!!

The internet says that drug store make up is just as good as the overpriced department store stuff, except for mascara. I ordered the highly rated mascara recommended by my circuit driver on Amazon at $35. This mascara made her eyelashes look long and lush, so it will do the same for me and $35 is nothing in the quest for beauty.

Now for a trip to the local drug store.

I picked out a few things in cosmetics, including under eye concealer to eliminate Panda Eyes.

Next is the critical, crucial, never be without, moisturizing creams.

Oh, my goodness. What a jungle of jars and bottles. And the promises were amazing. The more expensive the cream the more dramatic the result. It took me 45 minutes to wade through about 24 shelves of moisturizers. I ended up with a body cream and face cream that were mid-priced. All in all, my trip to CVS was about $152.

Clothes and weight? I’m OK in that department and I couldn’t think of anything else to address.

So now, to put it in action.

I lined up all my cream in the bathroom, from left to right.

Night face moisturizer, body cream, neck cream, and day moisturizer. Then toothbrush and teeth stent. Now pajamas, pull down covers and use heavy duty Ponds cream on feet to eliminate that white stuff around my heels and toes. All greased up, I can go to sleep with the knowledge that my body is hydrating as I slumber.

In the morning I took 3 sides look at me and discovered that I was standing and walking like a question mark. Creams don’t address this. So, again I googled and found some exercises to remedy the Old Lady Posture.

That’s about all I can do. Never will I add up the cost but I feel great. Whether there’s actually a positive change in my overall appearance or whether it is an attitude change, I thank that gray-haired man who greeted me with Momma.